Attention: if you’re from Athens, skip this blog post. Trust me*, I have nothing but nice things to say; the title of this post is just a funny play on words about something lovely. 

The good news?  There are parts that made our trip to this port-a-potty of a city worthwhile.  The bad part?  It was as if that port-a-potty was at a state fair in the fattest state in the US, at the end of a hot, humid summer day, and was located right next to the fried butter stand that just so happened to sell their last stick of butter to some 350 lb man with lactose intolerance and a severe case of IBS.

Kevin just rolled his eyes and turned away from me as I read that to him, asking if it was too harsh. And yes, it is, but I was expecting something entirely different from this city than what it offered, and I don’t plan to ever return.  If you’ve got a real desire to see the Acropolis and the Parthenon, and that’s all that really matters, then you might be just fine.

Spray paint manufacturers must be super rich in Athens.

Graffiti is something you just have to get used to in Europe because you’ll see it everywhere.  It’s much more pervasive than it is in the US.  Some cities are better than others; Stockholm and Monaco are the only two places I’ve seen that were close to being absent of this destructive expression.  Athens, however, has to be the worst I’ve ever seen.  Graffiti is on absolutely every surface you can imagine. It’s incredibly rare to see a building that doesn’t have some sort of colorful marking.  That, combined with the fact that the city is filthy, destroys, in my opinion, most of the charm or beauty the city may offer (besides the few “sprinkles” that I will discuss).

As we left the ship and got on the hop-on-hop-off bus, we started driving through an area that looked a little trashy. I didn’t give this much thought since many of the ports are in more industrial parts of the city and can be a little gritty.  But as we kept driving, the conditions didn’t get better…actually, they got worse.  It got to the point where I was so disgusted that I put my camera away, and turned my attention to my phone.

I kept my mouth shut about what I was feeling since I have a bad habit of being a little judgmental about things (I’m sure you’re all shocked about that revelation). But once Kevin, Debbie, Donald and I got off the bus, and they started making statements that shared my sentiments, I let loose.  Kevin thought I was being melodramatic, and encouraged us to explore the city.  How is he so calm and optimistic?

We did find a cute little side street that was lined with shops and restaurants. We wandered the shops, picking up a couple of things, and came across a very posh-looking restaurant where we had lunch. This made me feel a little better, especially since lunch was good.

After lunch we visited the Natural Archeological Museum, which was quite impressive, and then made our way to a rooftop restaurant that had a great view of the Acropolis. We sat there, had drinks and a little bit to eat, and watched the sun go down.  As the sunlight faded, the lights on the Acropolis turned on, illuminating the mountain and ruins in a stunningly beautiful way. We were all very happy until we had to catch a cab and make our way back through the unsightly city to our ship.

The sprinkles

Our second day in Rome was actually quite good.   I accepted the fact that the city wasn’t pleasant, and that we would just have to keep searching for the hidden respites that were nice. Luckily, the tour we selected took us to many.

Or tour walked us through a huge park in the middle of the city that was quite lovely. After viewing Zeus’ Temple, which was impressive, we walked our way up the Acropolis to the Parthenon. This is what made the trip worth it.

Standing amongst the ruins, which are gorgeous as they are, it’s hard to imagine the spectacle it must’ve been when everything was intact.  There was extensive restoration work going on, so much of the ruins were covered in scaffolding, but that didn’t really take away from the experience.  Our guide did a fantastic job of describing the history of the ruins, and outlining what restoration plans were still to come.  I was so enamored with what I was seeing, I almost found the tourists with selfie sticks tolerable…almost.

Debbie, Donald, Kevin and I hiked back down the Acropolis, all of us excited, all of us rattling off what we liked most about what we just saw.  We found another great little restaurant and scarfed down more delicious Greek food…and let me tell you, the food is absolutely amazing in Greece.  It’s really going to be hard to go to our neighborhood Greek restaurant now, knowing that it doesn’t hold a candle to anything we had.

After lunch, we rolled ourselves into a cab and made our way back to the ship.  On the way back, I silently played the game of How many building do I spy with no spray paint on its side?  On the particular route we took: 2.

*I’m using Donald Trump’s version of the phrase “trust me”