Our first day in Italy takes us to Florence and Pisa.  I was really excited for this day since our friend, Karene, who studied abroad in Florence, raves about this city, and I was looking forward to seeing the Leaning Tower of Pisa.  Neither disappointed…well, mostly.

Let’s hold hands and stay together.

Holy cow, Florence is crowded.  Before noticing everything beautiful there was to see, I had to get over the sea of people.  Heads bob so closely together that it resembles the surface of water, with tour group lollypops (the little flags the tour leaders hold to help you identify them in a crowd) acting as buoys, with the participants closely following this navigational mark.  Luckily we had no slow-movers in our group this day, because a moderate amount of dexterity was required to weave between the participants of other groups in order to stay together.  Because I’m tall, I was asked on several occasions to look over peoples’ heads to determine where our lollypop went.  After a while, maneuvering through the masses became a dance, and I stopped thinking about it.

Florence is lovely, despite the mob of people.  The Florence Cathedral, with it’s green, pink, and white marble facade (which sounds like a horrible combination before seeing it), is gorgeous and massive.  Details are everywhere, and just like in other European cities, making sure you look up, ensures that you don’t miss some of the more subtile architectural touches.  I also made sure to look at every door we came across, since many of them were decorated in elaborate and beautiful carvings.  Expertly crafted marble statues are mindfully placed and complete the look.

The stink train.

We had the misfortune of having two unpleasant people in our group this day.  I can’t really tell you much about them since they didn’t interact with the rest of the group; all I can say is that I think they’re husband and wife, they speak German to each other, and they smoke like a train.

Our ride into Florence from the dock was a little over an hour and a half.  As we neared our destination, I could see that they were getting a little fidgety.  I then watched as the wife pulled out the biggest pack of cigarettes I’ve ever seen; it was twice as thick as normal packs.  Out of this jumbo pack, she pulled about 10-12 cigarettes and held them in a circular bundle, wrapped by her thumb and pointer finger.  I couldn’t help but think of the old cartoons that depicted characters smoking dozens of cigarettes at the same time; I hoped she wasn’t going to cram them all in her mouth at once.  She then placed them in a special round holder that was designed to hold loose cigarettes, another thing I had never seen before.

The moment we stepped off the bus, the smoking duo immediately lit up and had inhaled an entire cigarette in only a couple of minutes.  They quickly had a second one lit and were puffing away as our group got going.  Unfortunately for the rest of the group, they managed to weasel their way to the front of the pack.  Since we were walking down fairly narrow streets, everyone was walking in pretty much a single-file line. We looked like a tourist train with a smoking engine up front.  As I loudly coughed and hacked behind them, hoping that they would get the hint that their smoke was flowing back into the rest of our faces, they lit their third cigarette and began inhaling that one.  I picked up my speed, walked past them, holding my nose, made eye contact, and let out one forceful cough.  Message received.  They broke off from the front of the group, moving over to the side.  I’m subtle, I know.

My behavior garnered me dirty looks for the rest of the day.  That’s fine, Frau and Herr Stinkenschnitzel can go suck it, I had to do it for the benefit of the group.  As I was talking to another person about them later that day, we were laughing about how twitchy they got when they had to go more than an hour without smoking.  I mentioned that I wouldn’t be surprised if you lifted their sleeves, you would find an entire box of nicotine patches wallpapering their skin.  How do they manage their addiction on long flights, or even a long movie at the theater, I wondered.

Timber!

The Leaning Tower of Pisa really does lean…a lot.  After our guide told us that the tower weighs as much as the Brooklyn Bridge, I was surprised that it hasn’t toppled over already.  One thing I wasn’t expecting was how beautiful the tower is.  The white marble that makes up all of the buildings in the Cathedral Square is exquisite; it looks so pristine that you would think everything was just constructed.  We were lucky enough to have a beautiful blue sky that day, so the contrast between the bright white tower and the sky was amazing.  All of this gorgeousness almost made the odd journey getting to the tower worth it.

Unfortunately, the tour busses can’t drive right up to the square.  There is a parking lot about a half-mile away where we were dropped off.  The second you get off the bus, you are approached by people selling fake Prada, Gucci, and Louis Vuitton purses; selfie sticks; necklaces; fake Rolex watches; and other crappy items.  I’m shocked that they’re able to sell any of this; the quality of these items is clearly terrible.  But you know there’s some dumb schmuck who thinks they’re getting the deal of a lifetime on a brand new Rolex, or thinks that it would fool anyone.

After making it thorough the initial line of vendors, you walk down a residential street lined with very modern-looking apartment buildings, which seem totally out of place considering where you’re going.  After a short jaunt, you arrive at a promenade that leads to the Cathedral Square.  This promenade is lined with vendors selling endless supplies of tacky souvenirs and another wave of people trying to peddle their Prado purses and Flolex watches.  Maneuvering through all of this finally leads you to the opening of the square where the tower comes into full view, complete with dozens of people taking pictures of themselves “holding” it up.

I had originally planned to take the obligatory picture of Kevin supporting the tower with his hands, and then we saw how stupid everyone looked doing it.  Kevin said he would do it if I really wanted to, but instead, I decided to take pictures of everyone else as they posed.  Poor suckers; without context, that pose looks ridiculous.

After making sure we had seen as much as we needed to, it was time to return to the busses.  We had to make it through the vendors and trash-pushers one more time.  <sigh>